So…around three months ago Anton from Our Awesome Planet asked me to write a guest post for him. Excited about being featured on one of the biggest blogs in the Philippines I said “Sure! About what?”
He said, “If you were to write an open letter to Filipinos about the things they don’t appreciate and the things they need to improve on, what would that be?”
(more…)
When you can travel for nearly free, you have a lot more freedom than when you’re stuck at home. Even if there’s just one place in the world that you’d like to visit, travel hacking with Frequent Flyer miles can get you there within a year. (more…)
It’s been a few weeks but I’m finally back with another entry in my Solo Female Travel series. The idea behind this series was to bring a female travel perspective to my blog, but with each interview I’m finding that I learn quite a few travel tips myself. So, for the guys, I definitely encourage you to read through these as well!
Anyway, let’s get to it. Today I’m excited to welcome to the blog the extremely well travelled Christine Ka’aloa from GRRRL Traveler.
Introduce yourself! Who are you?
My name is Christine Ka’aloa. I am a female solo traveler, who took a gap year to live and work in Korea and travel. I write for GRRRLTRAVELER, a solo travel blog and YouTube vlog focused on solo travel, travel survival tips and traveling in Asia, Southeast Asia and South Korea.
What was the first trip you took abroad by yourself? What was your inspiration?
France was my first journey abroad; I visited a girlfriend from Hawaii, who was teaching English in a small village in the south of France. While it wasn’t my first solo trip, it was my first time flying abroad alone. Many experienced solo travelers overlook that difficulty, but for many first timers, flying to another country alone is a big deal and terrifying if you’ve never done it before. Afterall, it’s your first time encountering language barriers, dealing with the confusion of immigration and airport signs look different.
Anyways, I had just broken up with my boyfriend and then my grandmother passed away, at the same time. I was an emotional mess. But there’s nothing like Paris, the gorgeous French countryside and good-looking Frenchmen to soothe you. As an artist, I was a huge Francophile already, interested in the art, language and culture, so the high of living and traveling there for a month was very exciting to me. It injected me back into the adventure of life, the romance of travel and I was catapulted back into the world of the living!
What is the biggest thing you have learned about yourself while travelling solo?
It’s hard to pick just one, because I’m constantly learning with solo travel. Often, I learn I’m adventurous, capable of creating the type of world I like living in and above all, resourceful in handling all the fears or last minute difficulties that arise in travel.
When you realize you can get yourself out of tight or unpredictable situations, you begin to feel more confident. You trust yourself more and gaining that confidence is pretty kickass.
The biggest concern for travelling solo as a female is safety. How do you get over that fear? What steps do you take to make sure you stay safe while on the road?
I don’t know if you get over that fear. Fear is largely what keeps you safe, so there’s a healthy aspect to it. With safety, the best you can do is prepare, research the dangers and cultural etiquette of a country beforehand. For me travel is like breathing. There’s no question about whether you want to do it or not. You simply know you must find a way. So I try to be proactive about it. I try to build safety into the way I travel. Here’s some of my solo travel safety tips for women (and men).
My safety guard is up 70-85% of the time. It sounds like a lot but it’s not and I still have fun.. Sometimes, it just adds to the sense of adventure. If I were to go jogging in my neighborhood at night in the U.S., my guard is at 85-90% alert. I’m aware of everything around me, careful of corners and dark alleys. Same with travel. If I don’t know what’s around a corner, I need to be alert and ready.
Many people are reluctant to travel solo because they feel like they’ll be alone and won’t meet anyone. What’s your experience?
Traveling alone, I’ve realized that you’re only as alone as you want to be. I didn’t know this when I started, but there’s a lot of friendly travelers and locals out there, who want to make friends and are looking for partners to do things with.
Solo travel also pushes you to make more friends, because your only resource outside yourself are strangers. If I’m in a group of friends or with a partner, I don’t meet many people and I remain shy. But alone, I’m forced to interact and ask others for help, my personality comes out and this brings more people into my life. Being solo has actually enhanced my social life.
What tips do you have for packing light as a female?
I’m not sure if they’re tips I’d tell other women to follow (laughing). I don’t pack for the woman in me, but for the solo traveler, who doesn’t want to be her own Sherpa. Believe me, my back still remembers having to carry heavy packs. These days, maybe I’m just getting older but I like being comfortable and light.
Of all the clothes I pack, I know I’ll probably only use the same three outfits. That’s my habit. The three-outfit rule is pretty common, I hear. I also try to make sure my outfits are versatile.
How do you afford your travels, and what tips can you share for keeping costs down while on the road?
I make very little money from my blog, so I also have freelance jobs. At the moment, I’m a struggling actress and trying to regain my old crew job as a camera operator in reality TV. When I travel, I need to be smart, resourceful and I take buses vs. bullet trains and airplanes.
As for keeping costs down on the road, I always go local. I eat street food, use public transportation and stay at guesthouses and hostels. It feels like a more authentic and unfiltered way to experience a country, as well.
Being a solo traveler, I’ll also try to find other travelers to share expenses with, either taxi rides, even occasionally rooms.
Christine’s vlog on catching buses in foreign countries:
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve eaten in your travels?
Bundegi or silkworm larvae is a common snack in Korea. I’m largely vegetarian but there are times as a traveler, you just have to try something culturally peculiar, just to have the experience. Bad mistake. It had a smell and after taste which made an indelible impression on me. It made me very distrustful of Korean food for half the year I was living in Korea and every time I passed them at street fairs or traditional markets, my stomach lurched from the smell.
What is one place you have been that was completely different to what you expected it would be?
Malaysia. It’s hard not to start to compare countries when you’re traveling through Southeast Asia. When you’re mindblown, country after country, you expect that high to carry through all countries. But countries can start to feel “Same same…” after the first one or two night markets or in the sense of Malaysia… Chinatowns.
Malaysia’s Chinatowns aren’t as gritty, chaotic or noisy as in other places. Knowing Chinese culture has an influence in Malay culture, I think I was disappointed by how clean the Chinatowns were! (laughs) Also, I’m largely vegetarian, so street food wise and outside Kuala Lumpur, I had difficulty finding food.
OK, a couple of fun questions – who’s your celebrity crush?
I’m attracted to a combination of humor, good dancing, a bit of dorkiness, passion and intensity. I’ll make an effort to watch an Akshay Kumar movie. I adore Bollywood films, even if they’re often cheesy. I like men who can be naively silly in one beat and then heroic in another. I also like guys who can dance! My other decadent pleasure are French films. I like Romaine Dupris. I think he’s an incredible actor to watch and I find his intensity, very sexy.
And, which country have you been to that, in your opinion, has the most handsome men?
The first country that turned my head was France. (laughs) The men run a bit similar to the women there. There’s always this cool, intellectually aloof Jean Luc Godard demeanor that makes them attractive to me. And the accent, ooh la-la!
Koreans fall second. Living in Korea, I found Koreans to be a beautiful people. I didn’t see many ugly Koreans. Maybe Korea gets a little help from plastic surgeons too, but it still works for me. Of the Asian gene pool, Koreans are surprisingly tall. A lot of women who move to Korea, who honestly claim to have no interest in Asian men, change when they’re in Korea. I was one of them.
Are you a nomad for life? Why? Why not?
Yes and no. Relocating for work is very much a part of my life and in that regard, it keeps me partially nomadic and I love it. I need movement, crave it. If I stay too long in a place without growth or change, it feels like a Chinese torture chamber of sticking toothpicks under my nails.
But I will always need a home base or an apartment to come home to, if only just to drop my bags. I need to feel connected to an identity and sense of purpose.
When I was living in New York, working in television, I’d travel to/live in different states anywhere from a day to a month. Sometimes, the relocating was constant and home was just a place to do my laundry. I liked that, because I could feel nomadic, while also knowing there was greater purpose and bigger vision that I was working towards with others. To collaborate, work with others and contribute my skills towards a goal is fulfilling to me. Backpacking for seven months through Asia/Southeast Asia, I didn’t have that strength of vision or collaboration process and there were times I felt like a tumbleweed, without cares or goals. There are times, traveling non-stop without a plan, feels empty and meaningless to me. I learned a lot about myself through this and If I did another long-term backpacking trip, I’d do it differently.
I love my freedom, but I also have a warm spot for my chains.
Lastly, for those planning or considering their very first trip alone, what advice do you have for them? And where would you recommend they go?
I’d say jump and think about how you’re going to make it happen on the way down. Seriously. When you buy your ticket, everything becomes a tangible reality and your mind instantly goes into engineering a way to make it work.
There are many countries, which are low in crime and I’d start with those until you begin to feel more confident.
Technically, my first solo trip was India, which was completely by accident. It actually turned out to be one of the greatest solo trips of my life, but I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone as a starter country. My first planned solo trip was Thailand and it was a fantastic country for soloists to start in, because there’s many travelers and solo ones too. Transportation is easy, costs of getting around and eating are relatively low.
Christine is a solo female traveler who writes to inspire others to find their GRRR for travel. You can read more about her adventures by checking out her blog GRRRLTRAVELER.com or by connecting with her through her social media channels:
After talking to some of my friends back home I’ve realised how much my view of the world has changed since I left New Zealand 3 years ago. As I continue to experience different cultures the way I see the world continues to evolve, for better or worse, and each encounter seems to add different perspectives that my previous self would have never even tried to appreciate. But, what’s most interesting is that when I look back, it’s the moments that were seemingly insignificant at the time that have ended up influencing me the most. There’s been many, but here’s 3 of my favourites.
While travelling through the small Colombian city of Pereira, I got in touch with a Couchsurfing contact named Carlos to help show me around town. After we agreed to meet he picked me up in his flash 4WD and we headed off to a small cafe for a drink and something to eat. He was cool, and we chatted like old friends as we drove out to the city. Then, something weird happened. As we arrived and he started parking the car, an old, raggedy looking man got up off the curb and stood in front of us. I thought he was going to cause trouble, but I quickly learned he was just trying to help us park the car. Slightly puzzled, I watched as he slowly walked back, holding his arms out and guiding us in, giving us the ‘slowly, slowly’ signal and then finally telling us to stop. All I could think in my head was “gee thanks, old man, for helping us park a car in a completely empty parking lot.”
I didn’t give him too much thought after that, but when it came time to leave we walked out to the car and he was still sitting there. He stood up, went to the back of the car and started ushering us out, again not really doing anything helpful, but trying to look like he was. Once we’d backed out and were ready to drive off, Carlos wound down the window, gave him a few coins and said “Gracias”, before heading off down the road.
“Why did you pay him?” I asked.
“Oh, that’s his spot. They all have their own spots. If you park there, they make sure no one touches your car and you just give them some money to say thanks.”
“But is anyone going to touch your car anyway?”
“No, probably not.”
“So what happens if you don’t pay him?”
“Nothing.”
I remember looking at him like he was an idiot. It all seemed so bizarre to me.
“Well why do you need to pay him when you don’t even want his help?” I asked.
He smiled.
“We are like that in Colombia. It’s our culture, we just try to help each other. He needs to get money somewhere, so we give it to him. Otherwise he’ll be annoying people, stealing from them, it’s not good. We all give him a few pesos, and it’s not a problem.”
After thinking about it for most of the day, I actually started to admire that old man. He was trying to make a way to earn money for himself, without hurting anybody or bothering anyone; just giving himself the dignity of “working”, albeit nothing important, and in a weird kind of way, making an honest living. But more than that, Carlos’ attitude was one that I had never seen in my own country. It was as if giving was so normal for him, that he didn’t even think twice about it. When did the culture in my own country become so selfish? Carlos doesn’t know it, but I learned an incredible lesson from him that day, and my opinion of Colombia and it’s people changed completely. I really think the world would be a much better place if we all started being a little more Colombian.
“Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.” -Elizabeth Bibesco
While I was living in Shanghai I would get dinner from a bunch of street food stalls outside my dorms. I had a few favourites, but there was this one lady who sold fried rice that I’d buy from nearly every night. Eventually she started to recognise me, and in her head she’d probably labelled me as the guy who always wanted 2 eggs and no chili.
One Friday, after a hard night out, I’d fallen asleep in the back of the taxi. As we pulled up to my dorms I paid the driver, stumbled out of the car and started walking towards the gate. It was almost 4 a.m. but in the distance, I saw 3 old ladies and their food stands, sitting half-asleep on their stools in the blistering cold. I squinted and in my drunken haze, I noticed my fried rice lady was one of them, leaning against a pillar in her usual spot. As she saw me from afar she laughed, jumped up and turned on her wok. How could I possibly not buy a box of rice from her now?
For those of you who’ve been to Shanghai, you’ll know the winter night there is brutal. It’s a sharp, piercing cold, usually sub zero, and when you add in the air pollution it’s just insanely uncomfortable. But here was this old lady, probably pushing 60, sitting out in the cold at 4 a.m. at the slight chance of earning a few extra dollars.
What I vividly remember though, as I stood in front of her, warming my hands against her stove and watching her cook my rice, was looking at her face and thinking to myself “Why have I never worked this hard?”
They say that struggle breeds success, and if I’m honest with myself I’m not sure that I’ve ever really struggled a day in my life. I mean, yeah, I had those sleepless nights during exams, which were unbelievably traumatic, and there were those near-death experiences where I had to work through the day without a lunch break. Gosh, with a life so cruel, how am I even still alive?
All sarcasm aside, what are we meant to work towards when we’ve been handed a fairytale life? What do we do when we’re already born with full stomachs and beds with clean sheets? We be grateful, of course, but does that also mean our work is done? Or does it just mean we’re expected to do so much more? I’m starting to believe it’s the latter.
“Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease lived a life worth remembering.” -Theodore Roosevelt
I’ve been to Tanzania a few times now, and in the small town of Moshi I’ve gotten to know various locals over the years. One of them is a street seller who introduces himself as Jimmy Carter (yes, like the old American president). Why? I have absolutely no idea.
The first time I met him he ran up to me on the street and tried selling me bracelets. He was relentless. He followed me all around town, even when I ignored him for about 15 minutes, and no matter how many times I said no he just wouldn’t let up.
“2,000 shillings! OK, 1,500. OK 1,000. OK 500! Please brother 500. OK 200.”
I had to admire his persistence. In the end I gave him 500 shillings (about 50 cents) and let him keep his bracelets to annoy someone else with.
Over time I got to know Jimmy well. Whenever he saw me he’d chase me down, and while he initially would try to sell me stuff, we eventually just became friends. I had considered him a nuisance to begin with, but once I started taking the time to actually listen to him his stories began to surprise me. I was actually amazed at how adept and insightful his street selling had made him.
“Find the girl who walks slowly. She’s the one who buys. The one who walks fast, she’s too busy, she won’t buy.”
“The paintings, I always see girls buy paintings from the store. So now I carry small paintings, and the girls buy it. I never carry the big ones though, no one buys the big ones. Maybe its hard to carry.”
The more time he spent on the street the more his business savvy improved, and through experience he’d learned business lessons that most of us don’t even learn in school.
“I show them this bracelet first, the cheap one. Then I show them the nice one. When they see the cheap one first, they always buy the nice one after.”
“I need to talk to people like you, to practice the English. When I learn more words, I can learn more negotiate. When I learn English my selling really increase.”
“I have to dress nice, you know. When I wear this shirt, people like me more, I sell more. So I always wear this shirt.”
It was fascinating. He was changing up his stock, staying presentable, learning to look for high probability customers and learning how to price things. He even understood the concepts of price fixing and supply and demand, and although he didn’t use those ‘academic’ terms, he understood the concepts perfectly. It was stuff I’d spent entire semesters learning in marketing and economics class, and here was some African kid who’d learned it on the street and at times would make more sense than my university professors. Is it any wonder China’s richest man started out selling candy on the street for less than $1 a day? It was a humbling lesson that we should never underestimate the guys at the bottom, because the truth is they’re probably smarter than us, work harder than we’ve ever worked and will probably end up making more than we’ve ever made. I really hope that one day I’ll return and I’ll meet Jimmy not on the street, but standing in his own store.
“Many who are self-taught far excel the doctors, masters, and bachelors of the most renowned universities.” -Ludwig von Mises
I look back at my former self and it terrifies me. Just the closed-mindedness I had, that anyone who was poor was poor because they were lazy, and that anyone who didn’t go to university didn’t go because they were stupid. I’ve learned that there’s no ‘right path’ in life and everyone will find their own way if you let them. I used to think because I passed some fancy exams and wore a suit that I was better than the guy on the street, when in reality it’s the guy on the street who will probably change the world and I’m the one who’s more likely to flitter away into mediocrity. Travelling has definitely forced me to check my privelege and concede that while my life has been pleasant, it’s mostly been lived in a precious bubble that’s stopped me from seeing what’s really on the outside.
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”
– Mark Twain
So travel. It’s an education greater than any university degree and one you will never find in any classroom. Quite simply, it will change your life.
Photo credit (modified): Andrea_44@Flickr
This goes back to 2010. I was in my room studying for an accounting exam when I saw this video by charity: water on my Facebook feed. Go ahead, watch it, it’s awesome.
It flipped a switch in me. What was I doing? I was sitting here, memorising accounting standards like an idiot while Scott Harrison was out changing the world. Within five seconds I could hear the passion and drive in his voice; something I hadn’t heard in my own voice in a long time.
Over the months that followed I became charity: water’s biggest fan. While vegetating in my cubicle I would read all their blog posts, watch all their videos and keep tabs on all their campaigns. They became an inspiration for me to escape corporate life and start doing something that mattered. But more than that, their work was a revelation. I had no idea so much of the world was crippled by dirty water, and was even more amazed to learn that just $5,000 was enough to drill a well and bring clean water to a community.
When 2011 came around, I finally got my chance to help. I was turning 25, and instead of having the big quarter century party I had been planning, I decided to donate my 25th birthday.
There was no party and no gifts. Instead, I asked everyone I knew to donate $25 for my big 25.
Around 500 people said no.
It didn’t matter.
157 of them said yes.
Together we raised $5,185, enough to fund an entire water project. Once the campaign closed, charity: water got in touch with me. I was thrilled; due to raising over $5,000, they were naming me as a project sponsor.
22 months later the project was finally completed. Charity: water contacted me with a full report, detailing exactly where the money had gone. They showed me the GPS coordinates for the project, how much it cost, and traced every single dollar back to it’s original donor. They even pinpointed the project on Google maps, and included a collection of photos of the community to prove that people’s lives really had been changed:
You may remember when I asked for your donation, I made a promise: that if we reached our goal I would make an effort to visit this project myself, and show you first hand what a difference you had made.
It was important for me to follow through on that, not only for you, but also for me; to see for myself that charity can still work and that there were still organisations out there determined to do good.
Two years later, I’ve finally made good on that promise. I recently returned from Ethiopia, where we tracked down the village using GPS coordinates and saw the project and the community with my own eyes.
I was welcomed from the moment I arrived. I drank from the water pump, carried water with one of the girls, was welcomed into one of the elder’s homes, shared food, drink and coffee, and was even invited to stay the night. I visited their old, dirty water source and saw what a difference it was for them to finally have clean water just minutes from their homes. It was all real; real people, real lives, real change. More than anything, it reinvigorated my faith in charity and the belief that we all have the ability to make a positive change in the world.
There was no way I could’ve done it alone. To everyone who donated to this project, thank you. I believed in this from the start, and it was heartwarming to know that many of you were able to see what I saw. It gave me the motivation to keep pushing on with the campaign, and kept me believing that it would all be worth it.
Of course, I brought the footage back for you all to see. To all the donors: this video is for you.
Thanks for believing.
-Bren
To see the full campaign report, click here.
To see the original campaign donations page, click here.
To watch the video of the village we helped, click here.
To visit charity: water, click here.
“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.” (more…)
It’s one of the big fears of every solo traveller – how will I meet people?
Don’t worry. I also have this fear every single time I travel.
Will it ever go away?
Probably not.
But I never let it stop me from getting on the plane. After all, that’s part of the beauty of travel – you never really know what’s going to happen. Maybe you’ll make a new best friend. Maybe you’ll meet absolutely nobody. Maybe you’ll fall in love. You never know until you go…
Of course, there’s a few specific things you can do that will make meeting people a little bit easier. Here’s a list of things that I’ve learned to do over the years:
There are many good reasons to stay in a hostel dorm, however networking with other travellers is one of the big ones. Some dorm rooms have up to 20 beds – how could you possibly not meet someone in a room that big? If you’re scared to say hi to them, just ask them a stupid question.
“Hey, do you know if this place does laundry?”
“Hey, do you know the wifi password?”
“Hey, do you know if there’s a post office near here?”
From there, it’ll just be natural to ask what their name is, where they’re from, how long they’ve been travelling, what’s good to do in the city. Before you know it, you’ll be sitting down over a beer and laughing about your hangover the next morning.
This is probably the best way to make friends while travelling solo – the backpacker/hostel community is always fun, laid back, sociable, and willing to meet someone new!
While some people are not crazy about the idea of sleeping on a stranger’s couch, most cities will have a ‘Couchsurfing drinks’ which happens once a week or once a month and this is a great place to meet locals and travellers alike. I’ve surfed couches and been to several meetups all over the world – Africa, South America, Asia, and it’s always been a great experience. I’m still in touch with many of those people today.
Best approach: Log on to Couchsurfing and find out when the weekly meetup is – then float the idea with your new hostel dorm mates and head down there together. Don’t be scared – the locals at the meetup are there for the sole reason of meeting people like you – travellers!
Alternatively, you could just post on the wall of the city you’re in that you’re a traveller in town and you’re looking for people to hang out with. Also, do some research first and be specific! I don’t think many people will respond to you if you write “I’m in Bangkok and have no one to hang out with. Message me.” That sounds kinda boring, right?
While in Bangkok I Googled some great street food places and posted up “I’m heading out to try Bangkok street food. Soi 38 is supposed to be one of the best places in town so I’m heading there tomorrow night to check it out! If you wanna join me just let me know.”
I ended up heading out there with a couple of other guys and we had an absolute feast, as well as a few fun nights out in Bangkok after that.
If you’re new to Couchsurfing, check out my beginner’s guide Couchsurfing 101: Everything You Need to Know.
When I was in Spain, I took Spanish classes. When I was in China, I took Chinese classes. When I was in Peru, I took Spanish classes again. When I was in the Philippines, I took MMA classes. In Ecuador, salsa. In France, French. In New Zealand, surfing.
Basically, everywhere I go I try to come away with a new skill of some sort.
The plus side of doing things like this is that you will meet a lot of people! It’s very rare that you will be in a class by yourself – you will always have classmates, and naturally you will get along because you obviously share similar interests. Some of the best travel friends I’ve ever made were people I met during activities like this.
Just make a habit of trying to be social.
When you’re sitting in a cafe eating breakfast, talk to the waitress. Ask her questions, what there is to do in the city, what her favourite food is. More often than not, they’ll be just as interested to talk to you as you are to them.
When you’re on the bus, chat to the person next to you, ask where he’s going, what he does for a living. Ask him to suggest something in the city for you to do. Probably 99% of the locals I’ve met are more than willing to have a conversation and make you feel welcome in their city.
When I was in Cusco, I remember having a quick chit chat to the security guard of my Spanish school, asking him about the nightlife and the different parts of the city. That weekend he invited me out with his friends and introduced me to a whole bunch of people. That’s just one of a million examples.
If you make an effort to interact with as many local people as possible you’ll definitely make some local friends that will add a whole new dimension to your trip.
As foreigners, we generally only get to see one side of the city, and that’s because it’s typical for hotels and hostels to be clustered in the safer, more developed areas of town.
I stayed mostly in the Sukhumvit area in Bangkok and the Makati area of Manila, and these places really gave me a shiny view of those cities. The very few times I did venture out, I saw a far less glamorous side of things.
Volunteering is not only a way to give back, but also allows you to see both sides of the city; something I don’t always get to do. The bonus here is making new friends! Every time I’ve volunteered I’ve met amazing people – both foreigners and locals.
The challenge here is finding ethical volunteering opportunities. I advise people to tread carefully when volunteering, particularly with children and orphanage volunteering. Usually projects like this are best suited for long term volunteers and short term volunteers can do more harm than good.
Better opportunities for short-term travellers are adult-education, fundraising, conservation etc. Grassroots Volunteering is a great site that prioritises ethical volunteer projects.
This is something that goes far beyond the idea of making friends, but I can’t stress it enough.
Don’t plan everything!
For me, the ideal trip is to just have my flights sorted and everything else is open. I know what day I leave home and I know what day I arrive home. Everything in between is a mystery. Sometimes, I may book 1 or 2 days of accommodation to start with as well.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen travellers strangling themselves, in tears, screaming in frustration because they have to leave a place before they’re ready. And it’s always because they’ve already booked and paid for a tour or a hotel or a flight and can’t get a refund.
A lot of travellers are just wanderers – they usually make plans on a whim and then just go the next day. You might be sitting around the hostel lounge and a bunch of you will see something on the internet and be like, “Hey, guys, look at this island, let’s go there tomorrow and stay for a few days.”
Then your heart sinks. Why?
Because you’ve already pre-booked your plane ticket to the next city tomorrow, paid for your hotel room and put a deposit on a city tour. Silly you.
Keep your plans open, and the adventures with your new best friends will follow.
Travelling alone is scary, I know.
But guess what?
You’re not the only one.
There’s a whole bunch of you! Everywhere you go you’re going to meet people travelling alone, and funnily enough, they’re just like you. They’re also looking for new friends, new experiences, new adventures. They’re also scared to talk to strangers. They’re also worried about not having any friends.
That’s why travellers generally get along so well – because they understand each other. We’re all away from home. We all miss our friends and family. We all have no one to hang out with.
But now we do.
I’m an introvert. Talking to strangers is not a natural thing for me. I wasn’t the popular kid in school. I’m not the life of the party. I’ve come out of my shell a little bit since I started travelling, but I generally enjoy being alone.
If you’re like me, you’ll probably spend your first few days alone too. Maybe you’ll just lie in bed and listen to your Ipod or watch TV on your laptop like I did. But sooner or later, you’re going to think to yourself, “Am I really just going to lie here and watch cartoons, or am I going to do what a normal person would do and go and talk to someone?”
And then, when you finally do, you’ll realise all your fears were just ridiculous. You’ll be better for it too, and that’s what personal growth is all about.
Think about it logically. If you see another traveller eating breakfast in the hostel and you go and sit next to him, what do you think will happen?
Do you think he’s going to look at you weird, stand up, throw his plate on the floor, slap you in the face, jump up and down, kick the table over and then scream, “What the f*ck are you doing! Why did you interrupt my breakfast! How dare you talk to me! I don’t want to talk to you! I hate you!”
Or, do you think he’ll just smile at you and say, “Oh hi, I’m John, nice to meet you.”
What’s more likely? What would you do? What would every other person you know do?
Exactly.
So just say hi. You’ll soon realise, you have nothing to worry about.
While I was reading the newspaper today I came across this article, called Travel Deals of the week.
Here’s what it says:
“We bring you some of the best travel deals going – both in New Zealand and abroad. Bookmark this new page and check back each week for all the latest specials.”
Of course, this is right down my alley, so I browse through it and by the end of it I’m rolling my eyes. In fact, I’m kind of annoyed. It’s articles like this that make people think travelling is so impossible.
7 nights in Bali for $2,399 NZD ($2,050 USD)
Hotels in Tokyo for $351 NZD a night ($300 USD)
The biggest newspaper in New Zealand is trying to make people believe that these are the “best travel deals” of the week. That’s pretty shitty. Most people I know, including myself, would take one look at those prices and think, “Wow, travelling must be expensive. I’ll never be able to travel to those places! I guess I’ll just wait until I win the lottery.”
And it’s also why I get so many people asking me, “How do you afford to travel so much? You must be a millionaire!”
I’ll tell you right now – I’ve travelled quite a bit, and I would really struggle to spend $2,050 in 7 days. (especially in Bali!). And I’ve never paid anywhere near $300 for a hotel room.
Take a look at this Bali bargain:
“The Our Golfing in Bali package from Our Asia includes three rounds of golf including caddy and cart, or two two-hour spa treatments. It also includes airfares from Auckland, seven nights’ accommodation at the Pan Pacific Bali Nirwana and more. It’s priced from $2,050 USD pp, twin share and must be booked by March 28.”
Let’s bust this myth right now.
7 nights in Bali for $2,050?
You could have 7 weeks in Bali for $2,050.
In fact I’ll prove it right now:
Return flights from Auckland to Bali for 7 weeks (at around the same time as our “deal”):
$693 USD per person (found using Skyscanner)
7 weeks (49 nights) in a private room with en-suite, A/C, TV + DVD player, free wifi, hot shower, parking, complimentary breakfast, 24 hour reception, and security:
$588 USD per person (found using Agoda)
Proof? It’s for the Warung Coco Hotel, at $12 per person per night.
In case you’re wondering, it looks likes this:
$2,050 for 7 days in Bali?
With a few simple internet searches, and you’ll get yourself 7 weeks in Bali, including flights and a private hotel room, for $1,281 USD.
I put all this together in about 10 minutes. Actually, it was more like 5 minutes and then another 5 to take screenshots and upload the pics for you. If I was planning this trip for real, I’d browse a few more accommodation websites, do some of my cheap flying tricks and I’m 120% sure I could knock another few hundred dollars off that price. There’s a lot of places to go in Bali, so finding something even cheaper wouldn’t be hard at all.
Also let’s not forget; your “travel deal” also included two 2-hour spa treatments. Let’s throw those in, just so we’ve covered everything.
They were going to put you up at the Pan Pacific Nirwana, so I checked out their spa menu. Their 2-hour spas are $70 each.
Since you’ve saved around $800, I guess you can now have 11 spas instead of just 2. Which is good, because you also have an extra 6 weeks of vacation to enjoy them all, along with all the other great things in Bali.
Anyway, you get the point. Travel being expensive is a common misconception that we need to break, because it makes people give up. It stops people from travelling. It makes people think you need thousands of dollars to see the world, and you don’t.
So why do we think like this?
It’s pretty simple. The reason you only hear about fancy 5-star resorts and super expensive holiday packages is because they are the only ones who can afford to advertise. B&B’s and guesthouses can’t afford a newspaper advert. They can’t afford a billboard. Not only that, no one wants to promote them because there’s no money in it. If you were an agent, would you prefer to collect commission on a $500 room or a $5 room? It’s lame, but that’s just the way it is.
This is one of the reasons I built this blog. I wanted to show you that travel is not expensive or impossible. There’s a good chance it’s even cheaper than your life at home right now.
Take a look at this place in Bali, for example. Its dorm rooms are $6 per night, with free breakfast and wifi.
It’s not glamorous, but if you stay here, you can forget about 7 weeks.
$2,050 would pay your flights and accommodation for 7 months.
Wouldn’t that be nice? Paying for a 7 month holiday with one paycheck?
You’ll also notice it has a 79% rating on Hostelworld, which is pretty good (anything above 80% has been excellent, in my experience). If I were heading on a backpacking trip to Bali, this is probably where I’d stay.
This is how people travel for so long – if you look in the right places, be smart with your money and stop yourself from being too fussy, long term travel is not a mystery at all.
For you aspiring world travellers who have been putting your trip in the “too expensive” box, I hope I’ve changed your mind at least a little bit. If you’re planning on travelling somewhere this year, use my searching for flights guide to get a super cheap flight. Use my accommodations guide to find a cheap place to stay. Be your own travel agent and book it all yourself. And if you have any questions, just ask. Hopefully you’ll be able to do more travelling this year than ever before.
Oh, and please don’t bookmark that travel deals page. Unless of course, you’re a millionaire.
Enjoy your 7 months in Bali!
Bren
“Are you going by yourself?”
“Yes.”
“But…how do you do that?”
“I get on the plane. And I go. By myself.”
*confused look*
I’ve had this conversation about 900 times. Do I not have any friends? Am I crazy? Am I getting deported? Why am I going alone?
It’s simple. To me, travel is a personal experience. It’s a chance to learn about yourself; who you are and what you want from life. It allows you to see how different the world is and to put your life in perspective. When you remove yourself from your life back home, you’re able to take that time to reflect and see things in your life a little differently. However, when you take a bit of home with you (i.e. a friend), that becomes a lot harder to do.
And then, when you are alone, there are no limitations. You can go north or south, by boat or by train, you can just sit on the street for the whole day and watch the world go by. There are no rules, no one hour lunch breaks. There’s no one else to worry about and no one checking up on you. You can eat whatever you want and sleep wherever you want. For once, you can finally just ask yourself what you want to do today, and then do it. In the process, you’ll learn things about yourself that will surprise even you.
“The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait until that other is ready.”
–Henry David Thoreau
One very common reason people have for not travelling is “I don’t have anyone to go with.”
That’s not a reason. It doesn’t even make sense. Are airlines only selling double passes now? Is there a buy one get one free sale?
Let’s get real. It’s an excuse, and not a very good one.
I get you, though. I’ll be the first to admit – that first solo trip is pretty tough. You wonder what on earth you’re doing. You’re afraid you’ll have no friends and you’ll be sitting in your hotel room watching TV for two weeks. I know, because I’ve been there. Trust me.
My first solo trip was to Málaga, Spain, four years ago. I went there to take a language course, thinking it would be cool adventure to tell my grandchildren. As soon as I got to my room I just lay on the bed for five hours, staring at the ceiling. I fell asleep. I woke up and stared some more.
“I want to go home,” I thought.
I was terrified to leave my room. I wondered who would be out there, what I would say to them. I wanted to eat dinner but I didn’t want to sit in a restaurant by myself. I’d look stupid. I didn’t even know if there was a restaurant nearby. Maybe I’d walk too far and I’d get lost. Maybe people would look at me funny. I couldn’t even speak Spanish! How would I order my food, or ask for directions? My stomach was growling, but I just couldn’t get myself to get up and go.
In the end, I didn’t eat dinner that night. I stayed in my room, watched TV on my laptop and went back to sleep.
Needless to say, things got better. But the only reason things got better was because I started making them better. And I only started making them better because I had to start making them better. If I sat in my room all day like a typical introvert, no one would’ve cared. No one would’ve even known. There was no best friend there to come knocking on my door, to hang out with all day, to talk to at lunch, to go on trips with. The only person I had to depend on was myself.
I started being more sociable. It was uncomfortable at first, but I did it. I made an effort to talk to people and introduce myself. I got to know all my classmates. I learned to say YES to every invitation, no matter what is was for or where we were going. Slowly, I started to see a different side of me. I loved meeting new people, learning new things. I found a new enthusiasm for life. And in the midst of it, I suddenly realised how constrained and limited my life had been back home.
By the end of five weeks, I felt completely at home in Málaga. I remember sitting in the taxi on the way to the airport, trying to talk to my driver who couldn’t speak a word of English. In my broken Spanish, we talked about his wife and kids, his hobbies, what it was like to grow up on the coast. I was amazed that we actually understood each other.
I stared out the window and thought about all the things I’d learned, how different I felt and how much I’d changed in such a short time. Just five weeks earlier I had been a frightened idiot too scared to leave my room to eat. Now I was chatting in a new language with a complete stranger and had made a whole new network of friends from all around the world. When it came time to board the plane, I was crushed to leave, but I was so thankful for the inspiration. Just one short trip led to so many positive changes in my life, ultimately leading me to the journey that I’m on today.
“We cannot expect to grow if we are too afraid or unwilling to change and face challenges. When we exit our everyday, mundane lifestyles to do something different we can experience growth, undiscovered strength, and new abilities within ourselves.”
-Ashley Ormon
People will ask, do you really need to go alone? Can’t you take someone with you? Won’t it be just as awesome?
Well, yes. I’ve travelled with friends and it was a lot of fun. But when you have someone with you, it’s just not the same. You have to agree on where to eat, where to sleep. You need to discuss what sights to see, how long you’ll stay. In times of uncertainty or loneliness you have someone to depend on and seek comfort in. More often than not, you will learn more about your travel buddy than you will learn about yourself. There will always be compromises, and whenever you compromise you are, by definition, settling for something less than what you truly want.
For that reason, I always encourage people to travel alone at least once in their life. An adventure with no limitations, no excuses and no compromises. It might be the scariest thing you’ve ever done, but if you do it, I can promise you three things:
Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
-Terry Pratchett
Travelling alone has probably been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
I feel like a completely different person than I was 4 years ago.
I believe in myself now.
I can depend on myself.
I’m not afraid to chase my dreams and try and build the life I want.
If something seems hard or awkward, I’ll do it anyway.
Failure excites me.
I want to learn and grow.
I see everything differently than I used to, and I don’t need alcohol or television or video games to have fun.
When I need to, I am able to simply sit in silence and just enjoy the company of myself. The world has become a completely different place.
Have you travelled alone before? Did you love it? Hate it? What’s your experience? Let me know in the comments below!
Looking for tours and activities at an affordable price? I use GetYourGuide! Always great deals and local perks.
For travel insurance, I always use World Nomads – get protected for just a few dollars a day!
Somewhere to stay? Booking.com gives you the biggest selection and the best rates.
I’ve had a lot (well, around 4) questions from girls about the intricacies of travelling alone as a female. Naturally, I’m not very well placed to answer these so I went looking for someone who was. Hopefully a lot of your questions were answered last week in the first interview of my Solo Female Travel Series with Anna Zalazar.
This week, I’m back with another female globetrotter to share her travel wisdom. I found this interview particularly interesting; it seems we both travel in rather different ways so it was nice to hear things from a different angle. Hopefully you guys will learn a few things from her as well.
Anyway, here we go! This week I’m excited to welcome to the blog Ashley Fleckenstein from Ashley Abroad.
Introduce yourself! Who are you?
Hi! I’m Ashley, a 23-year old travel blogger, yogi and francophile. I blog over at AshleyAbroad.com about everything from living in France to backpacking solo in Southeast Asia.
What was the first trip you took abroad by yourself? What was your inspiration?
When I was 20 I spent the summer working as an au pair in France. My boss gave me a week off for vacation so I hastily booked tickets to Ireland and England. When I landed in Dublin a girl working at the hostel told me she loved visiting Galway as a little girl so on a whim I booked a bus ticket there. There is truly nothing more freeing than solo travel!
What is the biggest thing you have learned about yourself while travelling solo?
Two main things- that I’m an introvert and I need a community around me.
The biggest concern for solo female travellers is safety. How do you get over that fear? What steps do you take to make sure you stay safe while on the road?
Along with carrying a small can of pepper spray (which I’ve never had to use but gives me peace of mind), I just try to exercise the same caution abroad as I do at home: I don’t wear flashy clothes or jewelry, I avoid rough neighborhoods and I dress somewhat conservatively. I also am willing to pay more for my safety, such as taking a cab home late at night rather than walking.
What tips do you have for packing light as a female?
Don’t pack too light- that was my mistake for years. I not only looked goofy in all of my photos, I also had to wash my clothes every three days and never knew what to wear. Packing too light is just as annoying as packing too much- trust me!
And also, this one applies to both men and women- use packing cubes. They make packing and repacking such a non-issue.
Many people are reluctant to travel solo because they feel like they’ll be alone and won’t meet anyone. What’s your experience?
Well, actually you will be alone sometimes. And that’s fine! Bring an iPod for long train and bus rides.
But you will also meet other people. When I travel I rarely have to day-trip or go out alone as I meet other travelers at the hostel. Being a solo traveler forces you to be outgoing and friendly and definitely improves your social skills.
And I only enjoy solo travel for about two weeks- any longer and I find it really exhausting to meet new people all the time.
How do you afford your travels, and what tips can you share for keeping costs down while on the road?
I actually just wrote a whole post about that! But my biggest tip is to sign up for a Charles Schwab debit card, use Mint.com to track expenses and book your flights really far in advance.
I afford my travels by saving up prior to my trips and then working as a freelance writer and blogger on the road. On the road I usually travel really cheaply: hostels, street food, the works.
But once in a while I splurge on a nice meal or hotel room- it’s necessary after a few weeks in noisy hostels! I also shell out for adventure activities like canyoning, scuba-diving or parasailing.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve eaten in your travels?
Probably lamb heart in Istanbul or civet poo coffee in Bali. And I actually thought both were really tasty, believe it or not!
What is one place you have been that was completely different to what you expected it would be?
Southern Thailand was not what I expected. Instead of an untouched paradise I found flea-bitten dogs, snarls of phone wires and beaches filled with drunk backpackers. Despite my initial disappointment I had an absolute blast.
OK, a couple of fun questions – who’s your celebrity crush?
Eddie Redmayne.
And which country have you been to that, in your opinion, has the most handsome men?
Fun question! I really like tall men so I’d have to say Germany or Sweden. And I love an Irish accent.
Are you a nomad for life? Why? Why not?
Definitely not. I love having a home base and a community. I’d say I’m much more of an expat than a traveler. Ideally I’d love to be self-employed and spend nine months a year in one place and the other three traveling… but only time will tell!
Lastly, for those planning or considering their very first trip alone, what advice do you have for them? And where would you recommend they go?
Western Europe or Southeast Asia. They’re both safe, fascinating and frequented by plenty of other independent travelers. Needless to say Western Europe is much, much more expensive than Southeast Asia.
Ashley Fleckenstein is a baguette-partial freelance writer who moved to Paris at 21 and has been traveling the world ever since. You can read more about her adventures on her blog, ashleyabroad.com. Her ebook The Insider’s Guide To Au Pairing In Europe, which teaches others how to break into au pairing so they can earn an income while travelling the world, is available now.