I have a question.
Have you been to Tanzania?
Oh, it’s an incredible place. By the sea, the east African coast. Let me tell you about it, my friend.
It’s a place by the equator, where the sun will hit you like an open flame. You will effortlessly tan to a golden bronze, or a lobster red, whichever one your body warms to. But you can leave your woollen socks at home. You will not need them here.
It’s a place where men sit at their roadside carts piled with poles of sugar cane, shaving them down with a small knife and chopping them into small plastic bags. Enjoy a bag of nature’s candy for less than a dollar, cut fresh right before your eyes.
It’s a place where the streets come to life – young men walk briskly with trays of peanuts and candy, jingling coins in their hand. You can hear the jingle from the window of your hotel, eight storeys up. The cars beep their horns relentlessly, stuck in the jam sana, and piki pikis weave through the traffic like in a video game.
Have you been to Tanzania?
It’s a place where the french fries are not called french fries at all. They’re called chipsi, and they’re not bought bagged from the supermarket. Oh no, sir. They’re peeled and cut every morning from the freshest potatoes, ready to be deep fried batch by batch in a tiny wok. They’re golden, crispy. They’re the most delicious fries in the world.
It’s a place where the avocados are the size of pineapples. Cut them open and they are rich, creamy and soft, like no avocado you’ve ever seen before. And you don’t buy them for $5 in a gourmet store. No sir, many a kind lady will pull her basket of avocados off the top of her head and sell you one by the side of the street. They eat parachichi by the dozen here, and why wouldn’t you? They only cost around 25 cents.
It’s a place where you can smell the goat being barbecued a hundred metres away, charring away on a makeshift grill over hot coals. The meat is smokey, gamey, exploding with flavour. Order a portion if you dare – that steak will never taste the same again.
Have you been to Tanzania?
It’s a place where you might creep 100 metres in an hour on the gridlocked streets of Dar Es Salaam. It’ll be hot, so you’ll need some water. It’ll be long, so you’ll need a few snacks. But young boys will march through the traffic jams, coming right to your car window to sell you whatever it is you need. Once you’ve got your food and drinks, you could also buy some phone credit, a football, maybe a few pots and pans too. You can buy anything from your car window around here.
It’s a place where fresh oranges are sold on every corner – young men run their sharp knives along the skin, peeling them meticulously and stacking them in small baskets on the back of their bikes. You can eat as many chungwa as you like, they only cost 10 cents or so.
It’s a place where the kids run wild with muddy knees and shining smiles. Without Xboxes and Nintendos, they play rede under the banana trees, laughing infectiously with every throw. They run not in the video games, but out in the dirt, in the sunshine where kids were always meant to be.
Have you been to Tanzania?
It’s a place where the women dress wrapped in the brightest fabrics, tailored perfectly to their curves, they laugh with zest and vigor, and smile with unapologetic beauty. They have some of the whitest and brightest smiles in the world.
It’s a place where minivans are used as dalla dallas – tiny buses designed to fit 12 but often overflowing with more than 30. Arms and heads flailing out the windows, yet they still stop to collect more. If you’re lucky enough to sit at the front with some leg space, ladies will step on and drop their belongings in your lap, before squeezing into the back to find a space to stand. Depending on the day you might get a handbag, a basket of tomatoes, or even a cute little baby in your lap. Don’t worry, they trust you.
It’s a place where the floury white sand beaches can rival the best in the world. You’ll find them everywhere – Dar Es Salaam, Pangani, Zanzibar. The ocean is warm and clear, and home to electric festivals and delicious seafood. It’s a beach paradise that most will never see, and the locals welcome you to their shores with smiles.
Sunrise beach, Kigamboni Dar es Salaam, Wednesday afternoon. No filter bro.
A photo posted by Bren (@brenontheroad) on
Have you been to Tanzania?
It’s a place where their omelettes are not made with cheese or vegetables, but with french fries. Chipsi mayai they call it, and you can eat it any time of day. Sprinkle some salt, squirt a bit of ketchup. It’s a quick and dirty treat that you’ll surely try more than once.
It’s a place where the boda boda drivers hang on the corner, lying on their bikes, chatting the day away as they wait for passengers. Need to get somewhere fast? Pay him a dollar or two and jump on the back. They’ll get you from A to B in no time.
It’s a place where the boys ride dragging baskets of coconuts on their bicycles. Ask him for one and watch him pull out a knife and hack it open in seconds. You want maji, or nyama? Just ask for both and slurp the whole thing down. African coconuts are something else.
Have you been to Tanzania?
It’s a place where you can get lost in the winding alleys of Stone Town without a care in the world. It’s not dangerous here, nor intimidating. Children run up and down these alleys at all hours of the night. It’ll remind you of Istanbul, or Granada, this place. A tiny town of Arabian flavour on an island, with all the character you could want.
It’s a place where ladies will sit shaded under a roadside tree, charring corn on the cob over hot coals. Grab one – they’re only a few cents, and fun to eat. It’s like popcorn, Africa style. You’ll be back for more.
It’s a place where you don’t eat burgers or pizza after a hard night out. Oh no, after one too many Serengeti beers you indulge in a few skewers of mishkaki, perhaps goat or beef, perhaps a side of chipsi and maybe even a grilled quarter chicken. Pub food is a little different around here.
A photo posted by Bren (@brenontheroad) on
So tell me, have you been to Tanzania?
It’s a place where the mornings are started with donuts and tea. The mandazi are cooked fresh each morning – hot and steamy. Lather them with peanut butter and wash them down with a cup of hot chai. Your days will start deliciously here.
It’s a place where the music is kicking, full of love and guaranteed to take you over. When you’re in a club and an Ali Kiba song comes on, you’ll know what I mean. Once you’ve rocked out to a bit of bongo flava, there’s no going back. I promise you’ll still be rocking your Tanzania jams many years from now.
It’s a place where the ladies at the market sit behind their stacks of vegetables, piled up high in the afternoon sun. You can hear the laughter from the other end of the street. When they’re not stuffing veges into bags, they’re yammering away to the lady next to them. The market here is gossip city.
Have you been to Tanzania?
It’s a place where Swahili is the tongue of the streets, and once you throw around a little mambo and hujambo, you’ll be getting smiles from every direction. Don’t be scared. Give a vipi here and there. Sign off with an asante sana. It’s a beautiful language, and you’ll surely miss it when you go.
It’s a place where the pizza might be a little different to what you’re used to. The Zanzibar pizza, doughy and deep fried, stuffed with meat and onions and veges and cheese. Or perhaps have one for dessert, filled with gooey Nutella and banana. It’s definitely not good for the waistline, but I promise your taste buds won’t complain.
It’s a place where the kids are full of laughter and smiles. Life is not shiny here but the sparkles in their eyes will tell you different. Kids are full of love and spirit, they greet their elders with a shikamoo, they’re taught to respect their families and communities, they walk to school with a skip in their step. It’s truly beautiful to see.
Have you been to Tanzania?
It’s a place where people wear their tribal colours with pride. Sip some blood with the masais, drink some banana beer with the chagas. Family, tradition, respect. It’s something to admire here.
It’s a place where football stickers are plastered on every bajaj and taxi. Who’s your favourite team? Liverpool? Chelsea? The boys here go nuts for it. Grab yourself a cold Serengeti and watch the game. If you’re a football fan you’ll make friends in seconds.
It’s a place where the food is hearty and simple, no flashy red wine jus or berry compote. Enjoy a banana and beef stew, a grilled fish, a bowl of pilau, some creamy avocado. A little kachumbari on the side. Mush some fresh ugali in your hands and chow it down. Top it off with a fresh mango or coconut. There’s no way you won’t fall in love with it all.
Have you been to Tanzania?
I won’t lie, it’s a place that may bring a few tears. It’s a place that can break your heart. You can see things here you don’t want to see. But it’s a place where you’ll learn a few lessons, too. Tanzanians are strong, optimistic, resilient. You may very well be humbled here, but you’ll love them for it.
It’s a place you won’t forget quickly. You’ll miss hearing the karibu in the streets, the smell of freshly grilled goat at lunchtime, the shouts of mzungu! followed by a smile and a wave, the kids’ laughing faces, the warm African sun, the tire sandals, the one dollar bottles of konyagi, the oddly delicious sour milk, the mosquito nets, the boda boda rides, the power cuts, the warm beer, the muddy shoes, the tip of Mount Kili peeking out over the clouds, the funky bracelets, the posters of Ludacris outside every hairdresser, the chipsi stacked in the window of every food cart, the shoes being sold on every street corner. There’s something about the place. You’ll miss the love. You’ll miss the chaos. Everyone falls in love with Tanzania.
So tell me.
Tanzania.
Have you been there?
Heading to Tanzania? My Dar city guide might come in helpful!
